One mile hike to Wahclella Falls.
That's all.
It was a green, vibrant kind of day when thick gray clouds splashed rain upon my head, and mud loosened beneath my Vasque hiking boots.
I was hiking along the Columbia Gorge in the wilderness with a new friend named Sam, who'd said,
"Oregonians hike in the rain all the time!"
We were the only humans on the trail as far as the eye could see. As far as the ear could hear. As...
"As I was saying, it's just a little water." Sam spoke with the subtle Oregonian tone you hear with the frequency of raindrops. It goes something like You stupid sun-soaked Californian! Afraid to get wet?
Really, I was afraid to tumble like Alice in Wonderland down a muddy hill plotzing unladylike into crashing water below.
If lucky.
Note: There were many rocks one could be splayed across.
"How do we know the weather will maintain and not start pouring?" I asked, sensibly. "Aren't we crazy?
Sam shook his head, indignant.
"No, we're not crazy!" He pulled a smart phone out of his pocket. "People hike in the rain all the time."
Sam wiped water from his glasses, searching for a weather channel, as raindrops shot bolts of warning! warning! and I eyed the sloping trail ahead.
Now I'm not a physicist, yet sloping up, I determined as one who has earned a college degree, means sloping down.
I eyed my sturdy Vasque hiking boots already above a tree-line, and said a prayer that these boots, these gortexed (water-proof) boots, would support me and keep me dry!
The mud had loosened to a slip and slide consistency. Much like jam. Gooey jam.
Oregonians sayings--It's only a little water and That's why we're green! --danced in my head, as Sam pointed to the tiny map on his smart phone and informed me with a sure voice,
"My estimation of this weather system shows that the storm..."
"THE storm?"
"... that the storm won't be here for a few hours because," he studied the tiny screen intensely, "...see those green masses on the map?"
It was too tiny to see anything and the rain was coming with urgency, and the mud was kind of like running down the hill.
"They look like green bubbles slowly moving across the screen. See?" He repeated like he needed me to see what he was seeing to make it real.
I saw green moss on the rocks, looking slippery.
Below.
"Well the green masses are a storm system coming from the west and we're further east, and..."
Nearby the muddy trail ascended and continued over a wooden bridge. I duly noted what looked like a big drop, if you were to drop, that is, beLOW.
"I'd give the storm two hours to get here," Sam said like the meterologist he wasn't.
"Let's turn back," I said satisfied with our adventure.
"And ruin all the fun?!" He took a deep breath, as if to hold back an Oregonian dam, I mean, attitude, about to flood forth.
And then he paused.
"Look."
Pause. Hold back that dam.
"If you really desire to turn back before we reach Wahclella Falls we can," Sam spoke like he really understood California wussies.
Pause.
"But we're half-way there, and it'd be a shame not to see the waterfall, and it's perfectly safe. Trust me."
I noted wet trees, fallen trunks, and bugs. Like slugs. But I was not a slug. I was a...
"Crazy, foolish, insane people! Wait up!"
A big man with a long dark mustache lumbered toward us under a wet blanket of rain.
The friendly stranger had obviously just stepped out of a manly man's fisherman commercial.
I mean, look at him.
And apparently he was over-joyed to share the hiking experience because he was no longer alone with an approaching storm.
Two hours. Give or take.
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