I started this blog with a category Starting Over In Mid-Life but when I had trouble starting over, I chased clean air only to return to my Los Angeles nest.
Again and again.
I've tried to develop more courage, and I got an unexpected boost the other day.
I leafed through photos of the past 30 years because I'm putting together a photo book of my girlfriend's life (close friends for 27 years) and I needed to find her photos.
Along the way, I found my own.
Emotions dripped off each photo, as the new me looked at the old me bright eyed, filled with energy and humor. But I responded to these photos with awe, sadness, and disbelief because for many years, I had everything inside and out, and I recognized none of it.
Too often I looked outside for direction, thinking others knew better and were better, and I was merely...
Merely.
Looking back, I was naturally vivacious and bright but I gradually toned down my "natural" side in favor of acclimating to my "culture".
At times I wore too much make-up and "costumes", or, the opposite, I walked the path of the wall-flower--responding to themes around me rather than my own.
Advertisements. Culture. Impact.
Hiding.
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