I got my list for the perfect man, and I'm checking off -- handsome, successful, great dancer, loves the symphony, reading, athletic, well-educated, no young children at home...
Not!
This Red Chard gave more sustenance than those words on paper.
I flow more than I plan.
I Ieave space for the unexpected.
Paying attention to my surrounding, people, places, and how they feel.
This was brought home last night at dancing when a friend pointed out an article about singles, and the author claimed she had deal-breakers when dating a new man, and a list. And she matched her dates' attributes against this list referred to as The List.
The List, in my opinion, blocks much good from getting into one's life.
A list may allow one to miss a special person, standing right there. Someone, perhaps, better than the illusory man created on The List. And the deal breaker may in fact, keep one from the sweetest deal of all.
How does a heart get quantified on a list?
How does a soul get reduced to a label?
How does a giver, who excels at listening and taking action for one's needs and desires, get reduced to Doesn't Dance, Deal Breaker?
I've dated handsome sweet-talkers with degrees, money, brains, and fine dancing feet. Yet the most important qualities can't be on a list.
They're unquantifiable because they are uniquely human.
The Soul.
The Heart.
The Generous Open Spirit.
Paying Attention.
Human qualities are packaged in different colored skins, religions, cultures, and I live in America, a melting pot. So I came to realize the benefit of going beyond my religion, culture, habits, and activities, and committing them to a piece of paper, a la The List--and remained open instead. This is easier for me, I think, since I'm at an age when I believe I won't have children.
I used to walk in Los Angeles, looking at the pretty people, wishing those who possessed a beautiful heart and compassionate spirit would light up from the inside to make themselves known.
There's someone I did take notice of, someone whose insides lit up with his big heart and compassionate spirit.
My diamond in the rough.
If I'd adhered to a list, or The Rules, Fernando and I would never have shared moments together, sharing and doing new things. I initiated our first date, a first for me (not easy to do). So much for "rules". I recognized a man of substance and let him know.
At Fernando's suggestion, during Thanksgiving weekend, we're going to an orphanage in Mexico to bring needed items to the boys.
Isn't that heart-warming? I'm looking forward to this new experience.
Some people allow differences and labels to keep us from uniting and loving.
Uniting and loving is a creative action, it's not found on any list.
Recent Comments